“We fell in love with the story
but its chapters were never about us”

Evergrey – Safe us

Hello again – thank you for returning to my blog and accompanying me on this journey. 

Or if you are new: welcome! 

My last post has been about travel companions and how important it is to be your own favorite companion. This one is still about companions but this time about those coming with us that are actually more of a dead weight than a real companion.

Do you have people coming with you on your road that aren’t actually traveling in the same direction? And what do you do, when you realize that you have somehow reached the end of the part of the road that was meant for you together? Do you leave them behind? Do you go into different directions? Or do you – like me in many cases – just keep on traveling with them?

There are some people walking with you on your journey that you are forced to travel with, as you are indeed depended on them or it is not as easy to walk on without them (might be you are  financial dependent on them, as they are in your work environment. Or you might be related to them and it is always a little bit more complicated when it comes to daily, isn’t it? )

But what about those, that your are not dependent on. Why do we keep those around? Those kind of people you spend your time with and afterwards or even during that time realize how toxic they are for you. Maybe they have narcissistic tendencies and simply do not care about you. Expecting you to walk with them into their direction, no matter if it’s the direction you wanna travel into or not. Maybe they are completely lost on their way and you spend time and time again trying to help them without acknowledging that they actually don’t want any help. So why aren’t we able to just go on with our journey without them ? 

Of course some of you might say „hey, that is easy, I do that all the time.“ – but I tell you something: it definitely isn’t easy for me. I do not know why. But there are some people I keep on returning to despite my better knowledge. Is it guilt? For they might not actually mean the harm they do and therefore I do them wrong? Is it hope? That they will eventually change their attitude?

Is it fear? Fear of having to travel all alone again and fear of having failed to keep those people in my life (well I guess a tiny tiny voice will always stay inside me to doubt me). Yes, might it be self doubt? That I am actually not worthy enough to be the judge of what is good for me and what is wrong? And that in the end those people know better than me? Is it laziness? That I just don’t want to get into any conflict and therefore avoid telling my own opinion?

Someone I met recently (a very brilliant person) told me, that parting ways with someone is always driven by incompatibility, which can happen at any time. I wished I could just accept them and say „goodbye, this is the end of our road together. Let’s part ways for now and lets see if we ever meet again.“ But I can’t. Not yet. And if you know the reason or have any advices please tell me! So as you can see I am definitely not a master of the „art“ of goodbye in this case. Let’s just see if I will learn in time. You can find out with me, if you like. 

That is me for now – thank your for reading.

A.

P.S. The above of course only refers to people that you don’t wanna keep in your life. If there are some you do want to keep just go ahead and tell them. In general, do more of what your heart tells you (more about that in one of my next posts.)