“When everything’s out of my mind
Out of what was left behind
I would have liked to say I know
Cause no one has the heights without lows”

Brainstorm – Highs wihout lows

This time I will start the post with a bold statement as I start with „we are all liars!“

Yes, you read correct and yes, YOU are a liar as well. But as we all are, including me, welcome to the club!

Ever been asked how you are and you just replied „yes, well, thank you“, even though you did not feel exactly well? See: liar! But of course it is just normal and most of the times it is even advisable not to go on about how bad we feel inside just to everybody you meet. But are you honest to your family, your friends, your partner and are you honest to yourself?

So why do we keep lying? Why do we try to present ourselves in the best light possible? Why don’t we just admit that we are not okay, that we are not perfect? That we do not clean our dishes straight away after dinner as we are too tired from work. Or that we drank too much the other day and had a bad hangover the next day. That we actually made a mistake in something. And that we are not always okay.

Earlier this year when I was not feeling very well I made an experiment. I actually posted a picture of myself on social media – one without make up, without my hair done – just when I had waken up in the morning. And I told people in that post that I was not okay and that I wished we would be more open about this topic. I got a lot of really positive feedback but actually none of my friends has been brave enough to do the same (do not get me wrong, this had never been the intention of my post) and to be honest I haven’t done it again since then. Always searching through pictures of myself wether they are really good enough to post online. Putting filters on where necessary in my opinion. And posting mainly about happy things. After all social media is for sharing all those happy things that happen to us and for showing (off) how awesome we liked to be. 

So i guess we all behave like this because we somehow learned and believe that is not okay to be not okay. Always focus on the good things. There is no shadow without a light. After the rain comes the rainbow. And more and more phrases are out there to tell us to focus on the „okay part“ that comes after the „not okay“. As if it is wrong to be in the shadow or in the rain.

Did anyone ever said „but now I am not okay and actually this is „okay“ for the moment?“ And I am not talking about going all Gene Kelly and start „Singing in the rain“ dance. 

Neither am I talking about staying stuck in the moment and dwelling on the „I am not okay“ forever. I am talking about accepting that you are not okay. That you have negative emotions. That you are sad or angry or bored. And believe me I know how hard it is just to endure those phases. 

I absolutely hate them. When there is nothing that really entertains you or that brings you joy.

And yes of course in this moments I know deep down in me that I just need to get through it. And that there will indeed be sunshine soon again. 

And yes – obviously there might aways be things you can and I could do to try and better. And it is important to try to do them after a while. Go outside or listen to music or call a friend. And if your are actually suffering from a clinical depression you know how you definitely just start with anything!  Do not just stay in bed all day. 

But first we should just accept that we are not okay. That this is a bad moment, a bad hour, a bad day. 

I wonder if we – and this includes myself here – just would start to accept that we all have bad  moments and to actual admit it – to ourselves and to others – would it change the way we feel when we have a bad phase? Would it be easier to accept it? 

To realize and afterwards accept that it is not only okay not to be okay but – and that is maybe even more important – it is just normal not to be okay sometimes.

So – are you actually okay today? And if not? Will you just ACCEPT it for this moment? 

Let me know – if you like

A.