answer (noun) = a reaction to a question, letter, phone call etc. a solution to a problem

When it comes to answers there are two very famous examples that directly spring into my mind: 

First one: the answer to the “ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything,” is 42 

(for those of you who don’t know what I am talking about, I highly recommend reading the wonderful novel „The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy“ by Douglas Adams)

Second: the famous song by Bob Dylan, according to which „… The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, the answer is blowin’ in the wind“

And although both things seem to be just the opposite of each other, with one providing an answer for everything and one having an answer that is not tangible, there is one thing they have in common: the fact that there is an answer at all.

But sometimes there are situations where there just is no answer. Either not in that immediate moment, or even no answer at all. This is when we indeed have to endure the question mark. 

Which is seldom an easy task to do. But we have to accept the fact after all that we cannot force answers. 

According to Cambridge dictionary first definition an answer is the reaction to a question, letter, phone call etc. Ever sat before your mobile phone, staring at those blue check marks, knowing that your message has been read, but you don’t get an answer? Could you just accept that there wasn’t an immediate reaction? Or did you start to wonder what’s the reason for the recipient not answering? Is he/she just busy? Is he/she taking so much time because he/she doesn’t know what to write? Does he/she just want to reply in a more fitting moment for him/herself? Or is he/she just not interested in answering you and as a matter of fact not interested in you?

I will not lie to you – I have asked myself all of those questions during the years. And I know some of my friends have as well. But in most cases I spend my time pondering about the why and in the end the answer was just a simple one. So why do we do this? Why is it so difficult to accept, that sometime there is not a reply straight away? 

Second definition by Cambridge dictionary says: an answer is the solution to a problem. I guess we all know how hard it is when you are dealing with a crisis and you long for it to be over. And there is nothing you can do at this specific moment to make the shitty situation any better. Yes, that sucks and I am pretty sure we all have been there and can agree that this helplessness is one of the worst feelings there is. But sometimes there is no answer/ no solution in this moment. And there is nothing else we can do but to endure the question mark that hangs over our head (which actually most of the time is only a question mark and not the sword of Damocles, although it might feel evenly fatal). 

Let me give you an example: Just imagine you are in a conflict with a friend. You made your points, she/he made hers/his. Everything’s out on the table. There is nothing left to say for the moment. Can you step back from this and just accept that there isn’t anything else to be said or done for now? That the whole thing might just need time to resolve? Or will you go around in circles about the whole issue like again and again? Can you live with the question mark?

And there are situations in which the answer is neither a reaction nor a solution but simply something that is (yet) unknown to us. For me this phase that just forces me to be patient is not really my strength. As I like to keep things under my control. And if there is something that I cannot control or influence… yes, that is indeed a challenge. For example: I met some fantastic people this year with whom I started a friendship. Will this hold over time? To refer to my road/journey theme: will our ways go parallel for quite I long time? Or will I have to say goodbye at the next crossroad? So what can I do now? I can either spend hours and hours thinking about this or I can just enjoy the here and now and see how it develops. Isn´t it the second option that makes so much more sense? 

So to sum up this post: maybe we all (including myself) should start to accept the „?“ and stop worrying to much about things we cannot influence anyway. And maybe, just maybe, when we stop worrying and start accepting, breathe in and our and enjoy the moment, some anwers might reveal themselves to questions we haven’t even asked.

That’s me for today – thank you for reading.

A.