„But its true, you can fall in love with people´s souls, with people´s gestures, hearts and morals. With people´s smiles ad with people´s minds – without exchanging a single kiss, and without saying a single word.“

Robert M. Drake 

Hello my dear travel companion. Do you agree that it is high time for a new post? Well actually I planned to write about something completely different but as I am stuck on this idea for quite some days now, I decided to change plans and write about the most important feeling of them: Being hungry! No, just joking, of course I mean LOVE.

When I recently discovered the amazing quote by Robert M. Drake I was more than happy, as this was a topic running through my mind with a big question mark coming along for quite some weeks now. Is it indeed possible to fall in love with someones souls? Without wanting to be in a romantic relationship with that person at all?

As i grew up in a time, when the movie „When Harry met Sally“ was quite famous I am of course very aware about the well known statement by Billy Crystals character Harry Burns, which goes: “What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.“ Some people are out there who actually believe this, for example I have a co -worker who keeps on telling me that it is not possible to have male friends.

But isn’t that just sad? Why is there a difference in a picture of me and a female friend sharing an embrace and me and a male friend sharing the same kind of embrace? Wouldn’t it be much easier if we’d just start to see people as what they are before anything else: a soul?

This year I met a lot of great new people – male and female – with whom I spent loads of fantastic moments. And although I just met some of them a few months or even only a few weeks ago I feel like we know each other way longer. As if our souls would be connected. Which is a bit weird, considering that initially I intended not to let people that close to me (referring to my last post: https://allysadventuresdotcom.wordpress.com/2022/12/02/alone-but-not-lonely-the-art-of-not-being-alone/(opens in a new tab) ). But here I am, enjoying every single second talking to them about all and everything. And yes, when not talking to them I sometimes miss them. And here is the thing: as long as this person is female I feel like I am somehow allowed to say, yes I enjoy talking to her very much, she makes me laugh and I really really like her“. Everyone seems to be okay with that. But oh dear…. now just image this person is male…. All hell breaks loose…. How can you consider loving someone of the opposite sex on a non romantic level? Sorry to tell you but this is not possible. You are now supposed to either have sex, starting a romantic relationship with each other and obviously get married. Well, I know that some people think that way.

And actually maybe deep down inside of me a small part believed it as well as I was really trying to wrap my head around my feelings for some of the people I met this year. But hey, first of all there is no one except of myself who can decide if I love someone and in what amount and second of all its 2022 – we really should try stop with that outdated believes. Stop seeing people as male or female and start seeing inside them, try to see their souls (short political statement here: would be a great solution for racism too I guess).

So if you have anyone who is important to you and which you consider as someone you love – why don’t you just go ahead and tell them. I actually did, being brave enough to think they have got the same understanding of the concept of love as I do. And just to repeat it (as I know you will read this post: be assured I love you for the amazing soul you are and I am happy that we travel along each other at the moment and hope it will stay like this for a huge part of this road. This post is dedicated to you!)

To close this post let me tell you about something that happened to me earlier this year. As I wanted to pay a compliment to a friend I told him that we are such close friends that I have not thought about if I consider him attractive or not as it would completely mess up our friendship. Actually my attempt just backfired as think he was more concentrated about the „not considering him attractive part“ than the „very close friend part“. So, if you read this my dear (and I think you will as I will send you the link once I am finished writing this), yes you are attractive, don’t worry. But still I rather like to be attracted to your soul than your body!

Well, this is me – letting you know all my thoughts about non romantic love. There will be a post about the other kind of love and relationship, working title „Happily ever after“ sooner or later. So stay tuned for that one.

Thank you for reading  – until we meet again

A.