Hello back my dear readers,

I hope you are well.

A few months ago my mother-in-law told a friend that my husband is such a good son. Being quite adament she turned to me, if I would not agree.To her surprise I told her that I cannot tell her if he is a good son – as he is not my child but my husband.

And with this little anecdote I welcome you to today’s post: 

The roles we play

As Maximus Decimus Meridius states in my opening quote, he is a commander, a loyal servant, a father and a widower. Which is four persons in one. He is a human being, so he should be the son of his parents. Does he have siblings? That would make him a brother. [Those of you who watched Gladiator might know the answer, but I admit I never watched the movie.] Do his parents have siblings? So he is a nephew. Maybe he has neighbours, which makes him a person living next door. We know he is a commander, so he is a superior for those legionnaires in his Legion.

Now he already has 9 roles and he did not even go down to a market to buy bread, becoming a customer. And yeah, of course he is a Gladiator. 11 roles now and counting. 

Well, why i am telling you this ? 

The thing is, we will never know someone 100% will all the roles they play in their life, I reckon most of the time we are not aware that we are fulfilling different parts at a moment.

Have you read my post Idols and Obsessions ? It is easy to idolize a person you don’t know the whole story about. It is amazing seeing your star on a stage, performing in the lights, living a dream. But what happens to those people once the light is out and the audience is gone? 

I have a friend who is a singer in a band (amongst other things) and we sometimes joke around when he lives the “real” life of a rock star, doing laundry or picking up post at the post office. 

There was time when my boss at work was extremly difficult to deal with, as she was extra accurate and calling out every little mistake, sometimes in an angry way, that was uncalled for. A few months later she apologized to the whole team and explained that she and her husband had a rough time and decided to split up. 

You might now say, this does not justify her behaviour and she should separate her private life and the one in the office.

But who of us is able to be in a single role at a time and only in this one? Imagine you are a parent and your child is sick. Can you come to work and stop thinking about your child? 

Imagine you have a stressful day at work and meet your friends afterwards. Can you switch from employee to friend in an instance? 

Most of us are often reflecting another persons mood on us. Did I say something that made him withdraw from me? She seemed absent today, I think I am boring her. 

In most of that cases another persons behaviour is not –exclusively– a result of our doing. It is instead influenced by many other factors in their life. 

Trying to understand what kind of roles someone else has to play in their life is a difficult task but one quite worth it. 

Understanding all your own little characters is even harder and there are times that you might not be able to see how they all fit in the script that’s your life.  How can you be a manager at work, delegating tasks to your employees just to come home to your parents who treat you like a girl again? How can you be the loving father, who reads bedtime stories to your children, wishing them to stay innocent little beings forever, to return to your wife in your bedroom, ready to get your bottom whipped, dressed in leather.  

Some of you might say you do not struggle with those kind of things aswell. If you do–congrats to you. Because if it was easy for everyone i guess therapists would have less work.

But irrelative if you can manage all the parts in your life or not–you should always be aware that the person you are is not a single role, but so many different. 

Now it is up to you to choose those that you like the most and those that are not to your liking that much. But never forget that you cannot be one part. And others cannot aswell.

Well, that’s it for today–to stick with the gladiator theme:

Are you entertained? 

I hope you liked my thoughts on this topic and that maybe, just maybe, I will can be like a tiny NPC¹ in your play as persons whose thougts you like to read. 

Thank you and until soon

A. 

Footnotes:

1 NPC = Non-Player-Character